Power of Personality Strengths: How to Achieve Your Natural Born Success with Rosie Noel

[0:00] Welcome to the REI Agent, a holistic approach to life through real estate. I’m Matthias, an agent and investor. And I’m Erica, a licensed therapist. Join us as we interview guests that also strive to live bold and fulfilled lives through business and real estate investing. Tune in every week for interviews with real estate agents and investors. Ready to level up? Let’s do it.

[0:24] Welcome back to the REI Agent podcast. This is Matthias and my lovely wife, Erica. Hello. And a co-host. We have a special episode today. We are interviewing a strengths personality coach that was recommended to us from Vina Jetty. She has helped a lot of different people in the real estate investing spaces work out their team personalities and how to kind of lead with your strengths, including like Pace Morby. She’ll talk more about that here in a bit. But it’s a lot of fun. It’s a little bit unique. It’s a little different. But it could maybe serve as a great example for how you can implement this kind of thing in your own marriage, relationships, teams, businesses moving forward. Because I think it is really cool that if you understand the other person better, that you’re working with other people, you can just kind of lean on each other’s strengths and just try to focus on who they are and what they’re good at, what gives them energy.

[1:32] Because it might not be something that gives you energy. Yeah. Right. Yes. And so we talk a little bit about our own individual strengths and how we are very different and very similar in some ways. And just before we went on air, Matias was asking me if I would like to do the intro initially. Welcome back to the REI agent, which I’m capable of doing. She can. She just said it. But I don’t necessarily feel the need to do that, which you’ll see a lot of my top strengths have to do with more relationship building and harmony. And yours are more command-oriented where you might feel more energized doing that intro. And it doesn’t ever feel like it takes away anything from me when you do that intro.

[2:19] Yeah. I was saying that I feel like it’s a natural balance for me to kind of lead the conversation, if you will, in these kind of things. And I just wanted to check in with Erica to make sure that was okay. And yeah, that’s kind of the way we came about it. Because it’s definitely, I feel like our interviews are not the same, not as good if Erica’s not here. Sorry to any episodes that don’t have her. But she definitely, yeah. It’s just an interesting dynamic. Because I definitely do tend to lead. I do tend to intro things and change the topics. But the questions you ask, the things you bring to the table are very valuable. And it’s nice to actually talk about it and hear that you feel the same way.

[3:08] You don’t feel like I’m just kind of dominating you in these kind of situations. No. And I would tell you if I felt like you were. But it is true. I can feel just as fulfilled by being here in the space and being a part of the conversation. And I do not feel the need to lead it necessarily. Can you tell that we just kind of got out of a therapy session? I mean, relationship, strength-based personality coaching session. Yeah. Anyway, it’s a really cool conversation. It’s a longer one. So we’re going to keep this short. I guess in our personal lives, we are just kind of excited about getting back into routines. It’s been a – the mornings have been a struggle this week. You know, yesterday or the night before, only getting like three hours of sleep.

[3:56] The morning was a drag. Yesterday was a drag. Even after getting better sleep tonight, the morning was really hard today. Our daughter sucker punched our son in the stomach. So we got that going for us. We’re going to need some – everybody’s going to need some more sleep tonight. Yeah. So really eager to get back in the routine, including going back to the gym. It has been over a month now since because we’ve had the holidays, me having pneumonia, and the funerals to go to here recently. So we don’t know if we’re going to do a ton, if we’re going to do a full wad. But we’re getting into the gym, and we’re at least, you know, looking at the weights.

[4:37] And it’s going to feel great. And, you know, every time there’s a break, normally not this long, just kind of getting back into, you know, going to the gym, doing a podcast, being productive, just always feels so good. So I have learned about myself that I’m very routine-oriented, and so it is going to be nice to kind of get back into that swing of things. Yeah. It will feel good, even if it’s just a foam roller, which I think is my first priority. So without further ado, please enjoy Rosie Noel.

[5:09] Welcome back to the REI Agent. I am here with Rosie Noel. And, Rosie, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. I’m super excited to be here. Thank you for having me. This is a really unique and special episode. We were introduced through Veena Jetty. Veena is a rock star. And she suggested that we talk to you as a personality coach because she’s used you, and you’ve worked with some other people that people might recognize, right? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people in the real estate investing space. So Pace Morby, Tyler Devereaux, Heather Blankenship, Jerry Norton, and Jamil. Those are Jamil Damji. So those are kind of the ones that I’ve coached them on their results and with a lot of the members in their community as well.

[5:56] And so as we were kind of going into this process, we thought it would be really, really fascinating for we had an introductory call and we kind of came up with this idea of Eric and I both taking a CliftonStrengths test and then reviewing the results personally. But then you kind of telling us how we interact and kind of give us a live coaching thing on air. Is that accurate? Yes. And I love that. So, yes, do you mind if I share a little bit about what the assessment is? Oh, please. The big reveal that we’ll do. So, yes, you both took this assessment that’s called the CliftonStrengths assessment. And you and I, Matias, didn’t really talk about this either. So it’s an assessment that was created by Gallup.

[6:45] And a lot of people know Gallup because they have their global polls and surveys. And they created this assessment that helps people identify what their natural talents are so that they can lean more into those talents as opposed to what we do when we’re traditionally developing, growing ourselves as saying, like, oh, I’m already good at certain things. How do I get better at the things I’m bad at? And this sort of flips the script. This assessment flips the script to say, let’s use the talents and abilities you have to go from good to great. And for the things you’re bad at, let’s figure out strategies to help get them out of your way. But don’t invest your time going from bad to okay, right?

[7:25] Like, go from good to great. And what I love about why I mentioned that it was created by Gallup is they’re such a research-based organization. So there’s so much research that they’ve done that talks about how working from your strengths leads to a higher quality of life. It leads to better engagement in your work, better productivity, better sales, all of these things when you work from your strengths. And both individually and it goes even further with teams, right? And I know we’ll talk about that in a little bit. It’s like, how do you use the strengths you have? And then when you’re on a team, how do you pull on somebody else’s strengths to fill your gaps so you can go even further with teams?

[8:02] But that’s why I’ve used – I come from the corporate world. And I’ve used a lot of different assessments there, and this has always been the one I’ve come back to because it goes so deep. It’s so customized and tends to resonate with people the most as well. Yeah, I love it. I think that one of the things that I’ve struggled with, I think one of the things that a lot of realtors struggle with, and investors that are trying to grow bigger than themselves, is just kind of taking off the hat of having to do everything yourself. I mean, when you are starting off in the entrepreneurial space, I mean, you are the marketer, you are the admin, you are every single person. And I think that it’s easy to compare yourself to others that are really good in an area that you’re not.

[8:43] And I think that you can beat yourself up and say you need to work harder or whatever. But I think this is a really cool example of how you can really become greater than yourself by having other people that could join you and pick up where you lack off. They might have the strength that you need to really round you off. I do like, too, the process of taking the assessment, how they give you 20 seconds to respond to the statement, and which you feel aligns most closely to you. Because I could probably stare at that statement forever and try and figure out which is closer to what I actually am or not. So I really appreciated the 20 seconds per question to get through it. So that was, yeah, that was really interesting.

[9:29] And I felt, too, like the results were pretty spot on. So when I coach with people or talk with people where I actively have their results, even as you were saying that, Erica, like I liked that it timed out because otherwise I would have thought about it forever. Like I immediately go to your strengths. I’m like, I wonder what strengths she was using. Right? What made that appealing to her? But what’s so cool about that is like all personality assessments, there’s obviously a subjectivity to it. It’s like how you perceive yourself. But the assessment isn’t trying to ask you what you think about yourself. It’s asking you, it’s assessing the things that you naturally do think and feel the most of.

[10:10] So it’s like, do you like to read a book more or walk on the beach more? And maybe you like both of those things equally, but maybe you don’t. Right? And so it’s not saying who do you think you are. It’s like I prefer these types of things. I feel these types of things. And so I like that side of it. And then I also like the objectivity side is it does take into account how long you take to answer the questions, which questions you miss. If you’re somebody who’s constantly timing out on the questions, it impacts the results. And I’ve seen that firsthand for somebody that they were, Spanish was their native language, and they took it in English and they kept timing out because they were like Googling, Google translating the questions.

[10:54] They kept timing out and their results, they showed up as high deliberative, which is somebody that takes a lot of thought and care in their decision-making process. And she took the assessment again in Spanish and she was low deliberative. Right? So it’s like the fact that she was timing out was showing that she was somebody that took a long time to make decisions. So I like that side of it because there is a little bit of science. It’s not just like, let me click some things that I like. That’s interesting. Yeah, I thought it was cool too because, I mean, we both come from psychology backgrounds. I was a psychology undergrad. Erica’s a therapist. I had a bunch of friends that were into the Enneagrams back in college and then did Myers-Briggs.

[11:34] So personality stuff has always been fascinating to me. I know Myers-Briggs is a little more research back than Enneagrams, but I think Enneagrams for me, like to what you were saying, really changed from what I thought I was in college to like when the last time I’ve kind of looked into it. So I think that’s interesting and I think it’s cool that it doesn’t really take that approach, this assessment. Yeah, yeah. And the results are not supposed to change over time. They’re not, like if you take, the only reason you would retake it is, yeah, if you took it in your non-native language, if you had a traumatic life event that really changed you forever after, right? So it changed your thought patterns and your feeling patterns.

[12:15] And, or if you took it when you were young, and it’s not because you were necessarily different when you were, your talents were different than when you were young. It’s just when you’re younger, you might interpret the questions differently than when you’re older. So as a general rule of thumb, people really don’t need to retake it. I don’t, when people choose to, usually their top 15 strengths move around. But for the most part, like if you, when you understand your strengths more, you look back, you’re like, you have kind of, like when I look at my results, I’m like, yeah, I was this person when I was seven years old. Like I was absolutely this person. These were the things I did thought and felt the most of when I was eight years old or, you know, seven years old.

[12:52] So I think that’s really cool about it too. So then you take one time and then there’s just a multitude of things that you can do with it. It goes so deep. Cool. Yeah. That’s awesome. Let’s, let’s get into it. Yeah. Do you want me to share the screen? Yeah. Let’s do it. Do you want to dive into your individual assessments? Sure. Okay. Who’s going first? You want to see, I don’t know if you’ll see this in a second, but my top characteristic is harmony. So whatever is best for the group is fine.

[13:26] You know what? Doing yours is best for the group. So there, there we go. There we go. Perfect. I can pull it up now if it’s ready. Yeah, it’s ready. Can you, and just, uh, I’ll be able to see. Sure. There we go. If you’re listening to this, um, and not seeing the video and you care to see the video, it’s going to be on YouTube. I think Spotify also carries the video. So there is, we’re sharing a screen here, uh, that shows the different, uh, strengths and all the different personality traits that there are. Yes. Um, so, okay, Erica, these are your results and the, so with CliftonStrengths, there are just to give you kind of the basic architecture of it, because the first time I saw this report, I was so overwhelmed.

[14:12] There’s like the colors, the words, some of the words, what does context even mean? And why is it low for me? Uh, so it can be very overwhelming. And then they’ve got this DNA code up here. So it’s just everything about it. The first time you look at it, it’s like, okay, I need to pause. And so just to understand what we’re looking at. And the reason they have the DNA code is because this is meant to be like your raw DNA. And the assessment is looking at what are the things that you’re most talented at and the things that you’re least talented at. But remembering that talent, the way that Gallup defines talent is naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior. So the things you do think and feel the most of.

[14:52] And so the things that you do think and feel the most of are going to be up here in your top 10. The things you do think and feel the least of are in the bottom 10. And I always joke, which this joke doesn’t apply to you, Erica. But like the number, the top two questions I get about when people see the report, they’re like, what the heck is woo? And woo stands for win others over. Did you have that question? I only knew what that was because Vina talked about it. She was high. And she’s like, I’m high woo. And yeah. And then I saw that. Got it. But she is. Yeah. She is high woo. And she’s number one competition, though, which means she thinks there’s such a thing as a best Clifton strength, which obviously there isn’t, a best talent.

[15:34] But she’s decided that woo is the best talent and she wishes it was her number one. But I’m like, only somebody whose number one is competition would think they’re with the best talent.

[15:45] So, so, yeah. So woo stands for win others over. And then the second question, these are like the top two questions. The second question is, if it’s low, why is my empathy so low? What does that mean about me? And I always like to say it does not mean you’re a sociopath, right, if your empathy is low. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable of empathy. What it means, and this is like, it’s an important distinction. It kind of just takes time. There’s so much with this report. But what’s at the bottom is things you naturally do think and feel the least of. And so when something like empathy is high, that means, and I actually love to use this example. I came from the corporate world and I used to coach this one executive.

[16:28] She was an amazing consultant and she had this huge team and she was like, she was just a really sharp consultant. And she was a strategic consultant. She had no green strategic thinking themes in her top 10. And I’ll explain what these mean in a little bit. But she had none of these thinking themes in her top 10, but her role was like head of strategy. And she looked a lot like you. But she had high, her number one was empathy. She had a ton of blue. And I was like, what makes you so good at client strategy when you are high empathy? And so many other people in the corporate world were low empathy. And you have all these blue, you have no green themes. And she was like, oh, it’s easy. When I go to meet with a client, my first thought is what would I want if I was in that person’s shoes?

[17:10] That is my first thought. And I approach all of the strategy that I build, all of the conversations we have around that. And that obviously ultimately not only leads to a solid relationship, but leads to her getting at the right strategy. Because she’s thinking about what they would want the whole time. And so if it’s low empathy, it just means you’re not, it’s not going to be your first thought. So when you go to, and let me, I’m just going to flip to you for a second, Matias, just to see where yours is. So yours is number 11. So yours is still high. Like that would, I would, I’m guessing it’s still, still dominant for you. But if, and what I’ll say about yours, like I’ll actually give you a good example with yours.

[17:50] So Matias, you’re high command. High command and high, people that are high command and self-assurance can be very intimidating. Because command can be very direct. And self-assurance is very like, okay, here’s where we’re going. And here’s what we’re doing. And let’s charge toward it. And if you are, and you’re high strategic. And what can happen if you are high strategic self-assurance command is like, there’s this intensity of like, I’ve built the strategy. I know where we’re going. And we’re going at a full force. And if you are low empathy, in this particular example, it means that you’re going to build a strategy and you’re just not going to think about the human element of the strategy, right?

[18:28] You’re going to be so focused on the strategy or the pace at which you want to move. And you’re not going to think about how other people might be impacted or like what feelings people might have along the way that you need to build into your strategy. So people that are low empathy just need to make sure that they’re mindful of the fact that like they might not think of emotions as a data point that they need when they’re doing things. And so how do they fill that gap? How do their first thought is never going to be how might this person feel? So how do they, and the goal is not to be somebody who’s high empathy. The goal is not to change the order. Erica, your goal should not be to move your competition to be your number one.

[19:03] And it’s like, okay, when I’m in situations where I have to be competitive and I have to strive to be the best, how do I use what I have in my top 10 to allow me to be the best? So with that specifically, how could I apply that to our NFL fantasy league? Because I am consistently last place year after year.

[19:30] Interesting. Tap into how the players are feeling. Yeah. You’re too worried. You’re like, if I win, it’s going to cause disharmony. So, cause I don’t want somebody else to lose. So now I just got to like come in last, stop fall on the sword. Well, it’s actually really funny you say that because so you are, and I will, even though I know you’re joking, I think it’s a good example. I’ll come back to that question because I’ll give you a little bit more on the framework. So with CliftonStrengths, there’s the 34 themes and themes are just groupings of talents. So they want to write, if, if we say a talent is anything you do think and feel, right? They have to make it finite somehow. So they just started to kind of group these like themes together of things that people do think and feel and put them into these categories.

[20:17] So, so your top 10 themes are the themes that are dominant. They’re always on. So you don’t have to try to be focused on creating harmony in situations. You just, that’s just how you show up and your middle themes. A lot of times dominant themes go into like 11, 12, even can go into 13. Your, your middle themes are considered supporting. So that means you turn them on and off. And so like you’re 15 at focus might mean like when you have a goal in mind, you can get really focused on that goal, but it’s not like your default setting where you get automatically get blinders. Like people that are high focus, it’s like they, they can get blinders because they can be so intense toward the goal. You can turn that on when you need to.

[20:59] Same with your woo, right? Like if you’re in a networking situation, you might turn your woo on to try to meet a bunch of people in the room. And, and then your bottom 10 are considered lesser themes. So again, those are the themes that like you just don’t naturally do think or feel. It doesn’t mean you don’t do them. It doesn’t mean you don’t like to learn things, right? But it just means the way that you get at what’s at the bottom, you’re going to have the most success when you work from the top. The very last thing that I’ll just say on the framework is about the colors. So everybody has anywhere between two and I’ve never seen anybody. Well, I guess it’s impossible for anybody to have one color in their top 10 because there aren’t enough, right?

[21:41] There aren’t 10 of any one color, but people usually have anywhere between two and four of the colors in their top 10. And the colors are these four domains. So there’s, and you lead, Erica, with the blue relationship building domain. And so just in the context of you, what these domains mean is like if I, everybody leads with one color, you lead with relationship building. That means when you go to have a conversation, solve a problem, like encounter any circumstance, your first thought is going to be things like, ooh, I can, how can I bring this back to my team? Or how can I share this with my family? Or this might help this person. Or like, wow, this would, like, I would love to use this to, it’s really about like deepening relationships.

[22:26] Your focus, your first thought is typically around people and specifically around like building deep things with people. And I guess, let me pause there to hear, like, does, does, does any of that ring true for you or resonate at all as I describe it? Just kind of broadly. Yep, that tracks. Guess she’s a good counselor. Well, yes. I love to see high empathy. Yes. In the therapist. But yes, your, your profile is as a therapist, usually in the corporate world, I see empathy lower, depending on what, depending on what it is, like I want in my corporate space, especially my previous corporate space. But yes, with teachers or a lot of like those types of different types of healthcare can have like higher empathy, higher developer, things like that.

[23:16] And then just to kind of help you understand, like Matthias, I’m going to just kind of kind of flip around a little bit. You lead with influencing. And so what that means is that when you go to do the same thing, have a conversation and, you know, encounter any sort of situation or circumstance, your first thought is typically going to be, how do I elevate this? How do I make, like, how do we go faster? How do we go bigger? It’s how can I speak up on this other person’s behalf? How can we make this happen? Like, it goes very fast and orange and blue are both people focus themes. And then the purple and green are what I call outcomes focus themes. So the difference between the blue and the orange is orange goes fast.

[23:59] It’s the fastest of all of the colors. So orange goes fast with people. So I always say orange goes wide and blue goes deep. So blue, which makes sense, right? Relationship building is a slower process and there’s like a depth there. And so influencing can go very fast. And Vina’s orange, Pace Morby’s orange, Tyler Devereaux’s orange, Jerry Norton’s orange, Heather Blankenship’s orange. The only exception that I can think of right now is Jamil, who’s blue, relationship building. And so they go wide with people. I like to say they cast a wide net with people influencing.

[24:38] Versus blue is, yeah, like they want to go deeper with people. They want to build that, like the depth of relationship. And that’s their first thought is around, like, let’s take our time and to go deeper. And then the executing and strategic thinking. So I always like to do this example of, like, orange is the fastest. Purple is the second fastest. Blue, now we get kind of onto the slower side. And green is the slowest. And so, like, so executing is an outcome-focused theme. That means, like, when I go to have a conversation, if I lead with executing, my first thought is, like, how do I execute on this? Right? How do I make something happen out of this thing? Like, I need to get stuff done now.

[25:19] And versus somebody that’s strategic thinking, their first thought is to think. They’re like, okay, let me process this. I’m green, right? So I’m like, okay. And Vina’s orange. We’re like polar opposites. So she’s like, Rosie, just what are you thinking about? I’m like, I just need some space for my brain. So I’ll come. And Matthias, you have three greens in your top ten, which is really interesting. And I’d be curious to learn more about that. I know we’re kind of flipping back and forth, but since I guess I’m on that topic, I would be curious to hear, like, how much your top ten, like, resonated for you. And knowing that you have, like, these slower green themes in your top ten, top five, really, but you lead with this orange, faster-paced theme.

[26:01] How do you feel like, I guess, based on what you know about your strengths so far, how do you feel like that shows up for you? Yeah, I mean, the futuristic, I think that that’s probably one, definitely one of the biggest things for me. I mean, I am definitely always kind of dreaming. I mean, that is the, I’m thinking about how, where I can go. Like, I mean, we’re, you know, always kind of, we have a five-year plan, you know, those kind of things. We’re always kind of thinking through ahead. And that’s often how, I mean, we started our relationship off that way, really, or our marriage. We had this goal of paying off all our debt. And, you know, that was kind of stemming from me. And that’s how it’s always kind of been, is that I have this dream.

[26:37] Then you kind of get on board with it as well and help kind of execute it.

[26:43] And, yeah, I mean, being a realtor, being a very social person, I definitely can see that, you know, casting a wide net of really enjoying people pretty easily. I think that’s something that’s always happened for me. I kind of just tend to like people right off the bat and connect with them fairly easily. Yeah. So it makes sense to me so far. I didn’t really think of it as opposing things necessarily. And I can’t spend time really thinking through things too. Like, I think I do, you know, have, yeah, I guess I process things. I process verbally too. So she gets a lot of that so she could talk about it as well. Yes. Yeah. You’re high communication. So they like to externally process things. Yeah.

[27:30] Yeah. I think you are too, Erica. Yeah. You’re high on the higher end of that as well. And yes. So you’re, and it’s like people that are, everybody has like a primary domain, which is influencing for you. Um, and then a secondary domain. And I guess, let me just say this one other thing, because it’s not apparent. The, what determines what domain you lead with, which color you lead with is not the quantity of what’s in your top 10 or even necessarily the order. Like these are, you answer the most futuristic questions, the second most activator questions. So this is a matter of quantity. The, the domain you lead with is a matter of intensity. So when you were answering the questions, like you were talking about, Erica, like it’s like, what did you answer furthest along the spectrum of, of, so if you, you most consistently answered the influencing questions as the most intense.

[28:24] Um, and everybody has a primary domain and like a strongest domain, a weakest domain. And, uh, like, so your secondary domain is very much strategic thinking. And, and it’s funny cause I had a coaching call earlier with somebody today whose primary is influencing and secondary is strategic thinking. And it’s so fun to just watch like how quickly, like as somebody who is green and my lowest is orange, like I’m just so slow at everything. And so to watch, like to watch her just be like, yeah, I already thought about all these things and I’m ready to go. Like, we don’t need to talk about this anymore. I’m done. I’ve processed and I’m moving up. You know, uh, does that, uh, do you know what I’m doing?

[29:05] Does that, does that sound familiar at all? Yeah. I think that there are, I don’t know how this relates to your, uh, I forget where green is for you. Um, but for example, we, uh, like with investing, oftentimes we have to make a decision really quickly as far as if we’re going to make an offer on a property, et cetera. And that’s been a, uh, hard thing for us, uh, for, for you to get on board with. Uh, and you know, I’ve just, you know, I’m like, this is a, yes, this is a good deal. This is a good location. Let’s go. Let’s put an offer in it right away. Um, and don’t have to think too much about it. Yeah. I don’t know if you saw, but I scrolled down, but that is, so your primary domain, Erica is blue relationship building.

[29:47] Your secondary is purple, which is pretty beautiful. Just to say that like your primary and secondaries, like, right. You, you have all four colors between the two of you, right. And your primary and secondary, um, which is really cool. And, um, and so, and green is, so purple is your weakest domain. Um, yeah. And that’s Erica’s secondary domain. And then Erica, your secondary domain is green and that’s Matias’s secondary domain. So you, you can pull on each other for that. Um, or you, and I’m sure you do in many ways. And, um, and I guess, so I guess just, yeah. Tell me a little bit more Erica about like your results. What specifically resonated? Um, I just love to hear a little bit more about your impressions.

[30:31] Yeah. Yeah. Well, I’ll, I was just thinking about your example, Matias, about, um, coming to me with an investment offer and then needing to make a decision really quickly just struck me as kind of funny because I’m thinking back and I remember thinking, well, I don’t have all the information. I don’t, I don’t feel like I can make a decision on this, but I feel like it’s going to be the most beneficial to our relationship if I trust you. Wow. Wow. I think that’s actually how I ended up with. Yeah. Let’s go for it. Like, I feel like it would probably hurt, uh, like the trust between us if I did it. Anyway, looking at this, I’m like, Oh, okay. This makes a lot of sense now. Oh, that’s so funny.

[31:12] No, this, so, so with my results, um, I wasn’t terribly surprised by the top 10 and especially like the arranger, if I understand that part, right. I wondered if that taps into like, I have pretty high like executive function. Like I can, I can, um, figure out how to do things the most efficient way very quickly. And, and so I can really pound stuff out when I need to. And that’s probably a pretty dominant quality of mine. And the middle ones, actually, I was more intrigued by because it’s very true. I can, I can pull those into focus when I need to, but they also exhaust me pretty quickly. So like the woo piece of it, you know, I can, I can be very social and, and engaging and then say, well, like we’ll be at an event and we’ll be doing that.

[32:05] And then as soon as I get in the car and I’m like, Oh my God. And then I have to recover. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s, and that’s the case for a lot of those middles, you know, I couldn’t like even the focus piece, I can pull that in and I can really hone in. Like if he has an idea and he’s like, let’s go for it. I’m like, okay, I can, I can identify all the things that need to be done to get that going. Um, but I, I probably couldn’t hold that for a long period of time. Yeah. Yeah. But the, the harmony one, uh, that that’s been like a growth area between us. Cause he, he doesn’t necessarily shy away from direct conversations. Um, that might be number five command. They’re like super direct. And, and, and, um, you know, say things that are honest and not skirt around tough issues that might make people feel uncomfortable.

[32:57] And I have been present when he’s done that. It is like physically hard for me to sit still. I’m just like, Oh, this is like, it’s so uncomfortable. And then he’ll look at me. He’s like, did you feel a little bad during that one?

[33:14] So it’s been like a growing edge for me to just, it’s okay. Conflict’s okay. Everybody’s going to be okay. We’re still going to be friends after this. Yeah. Um, Just a quick thought on that too, is I, I’ve, I like, I read how to influence and influence people multiple times and the avoiding the acute angle element of that, uh, was one of the things that I really tried to work on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I read that book like 15 years ago. So I don’t remember. It’s like, it’s like, you know, don’t, uh, don’t disagree with somebody unnecessarily. You know, you don’t have to like point out a disagreement. If some, if you’re interested in a casual conversation, they say something you don’t agree with.

[33:54] You can just like, you don’t have to go and say, no, that’s wrong. Call them out or whatever. Um, that’s something that I, I’ve tried to, to polish to, to be maybe a more pleasant person to be around. So like a good example, excuse me, it might be, I went to go buy a backpacking backpack from a friend and ended up actually paying more for it than what they even asked for because I felt like they weren’t charging enough and I, I wanted to make sure they were feeling like they were getting a good deal. And then I got home and Matias was like, you’re not allowed to like buy stuff anymore. It was on like Facebook market, $15. And she’s like, do you want 25 or whatever the numbers were? Yeah. Yeah.

[34:46] And, um, and it’s funny just to kind of highlight some of these because the strengths, they don’t exist in a vacuum, which, you know, I feel like you already recognize as you’re talking about these, but right. The way you’re like, what you just described is like, yeah, your harmony and empathy together of like, yeah, like you and you’re a developer and responsibility. And what I’ll say with that is like, you, you feel a responsibility to like, be honest. This person should be charging more. So you feel a responsibility to do that. Like you feel the empathy of like, well, if I was in their shoes and something was worth more, like I would, you know, like that would, that would be the right move for them.

[35:24] Right. So, so that the responsibility side and the developer, people that are high developer is one, I guess, to, to define responsibility. It is what you think it is. But, um, the, the layer of like how Gallup defines it is they take a lot of psychological ownership over things. And so they can, they can carry a lot of weight and usually people that are high responsibility are really good at being responsible to others. And it is a journey for them to learn how to be responsible to themselves. And, uh, and that’s the case for a lot of the blue as well. Like people are really good at having empathy for others and it can take time for them to like have, have empathy for themselves as well. And so, um, but high developer, high developer sees potential in others and wants to invest in and grow that potential like pace Morby for he’s high developer.

[36:11] And that’s what he, such a big part of his community, right. Is he develops not only the individuals in his community, but the, but the community itself, he sees the potential for what the community can be. And he grows that potential. And so you seeing the potential of what this person like, right, they could offer this thing. And like, I see the potential of what it could be. Like, it’s just kind of like this, the, our strengths just kind of all show up together. And I like to think of them as like gears that change in size. So like your top 10 to 13 are like, sometimes your harmony is going to be strong and your arranger is going to be smaller. And sometimes the arranger is going to get bigger and the discipline might get smaller.

[36:45] And so, uh, but they all do work together. They’re always there. It’s just, some are coming on stronger at other times than others. And sometimes they can be getting like, just cause it’s a pie doesn’t automatically be a strength. Like mean, it’s a strength, right. Harmony is right. Like if you’re unwilling to have conflict when conflict is necessary, if you’re having a hard time delivering feedback when it’s needed, it’s like, how can I pull on some of my other themes in my top 10 then to help me when I need to go have a difficult conversation? Or how do I reframe the harmony in this situation of like, yes, it might rock the boat in this conversation, but it’s going to create bigger harmony in the long run.

[37:22] And I need to stay focused on that. And so a lot of it is like, just because they’re up high doesn’t automatically mean their strengths in every situation. It’s just more like, which ones do you pull on intentionally? And how do you grow them all into strengths? Cause those are the areas you already do think and feel these things naturally. So it’s just, how do you hone them to use them to get at all of the outcomes that you’re looking for?

[37:45] I’m just data dumping on you, by the way. My number one strength is input, which means like input needs an output. They say, so I like to take in and collect and archive information. And then when I have an opportunity to output, cause I’m also high communication, I’m like, Oh, I have this thing and you got to have this thing. I got to tell you this thing. So I’m getting a little excited. So thank you for letting me out. It’s been great. Well, I’m trying to remember, I was reading, you know, kind of how these different traits play in with each other. And maybe you can help me with this, but I forget which one it was, but it mentioned that maybe one caution for mine was because I can, I can read or feel or put my, you know, feel what other people are feeling so easily.

[38:29] And I can maybe see where they could go or where they need to be. And I can do that pretty quickly. It, it can get in the way because they might not be ready to see that yet. Or they might need to go through like their own process to be able to get to the point where they can acknowledge that. And so if I, if I don’t recognize that it was, it was saying in some ways it could also get in the way of a relationship. If I’m like, no, no, no, but these are all the steps and I can see them and here’s where, where you should go. But letting them kind of go by their own pace to get to where they need to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That one, it’s probably developer. Cause developer is also the one where like you can get more invested in other people’s potential than they are willing to invest themselves.

[39:17] Um, and that’s kind of like that flight. That’s all like one of the downfalls of developers. Like you want something more for them than they want for themselves too. Um, and yes. So all of the, all of the themes have a dark side and a light side. Um, so all of them have blind spots, which yeah, I know you read, you read in the report too. Um, so it’s more like it, yes, be mindful of those things. And then it’s like, how do you keep those things in check then? And so like with the command, right? Like you keep your command in check by being mindful. Like you’ve built a strategy cause you’re high strategic. You’ve built a strategy for that. You’re going to pull on to help keep your command in check.

[39:52] Um, so right. Yeah. For you, Erica, it’s like, okay, what things get in my way and what’s, what’s the strategy I can build to help. And, and you can help pull on your strategic husband to help you also build like the strategies of like, how do I use my strengths really intentionally? If I am, if I am wanting more for this person than they want for themselves, or if I am like, right. Trying to push them in the direction and help them map out the steps. And they’re just not ready for that. Um, how can I pull on some of these other themes, especially like your high restorative too. And restorative is, um, a really good problem solver. Um, and they like to solve, I like to say like the root cause of the problem, which I guess also makes sense to your therapist.

[40:32] Um, right. But it’s like, I don’t want to put a bandaid on it. I want to, I want to like, what’s the real problem and let’s fix that. And they want to get their hands in and fix it versus you, Matias, you’re high strict. These are the, there’s two problem solving themes. The other one is strategic. So strategic is problem solving, but they don’t want to, it’s a, it’s a green theme. So they don’t like purple is executing. I want to get in and solve the problem. Strategic is like, I want to come up with the plan to solve the problem, but I don’t want to execute on the solution. I just want to come up with the plan. Um, so yes, I need a manager. Um, I can develop it, but I, so yeah. Yeah. You’re like, please, Erica, help.

[41:11] Um, which is really funny. Because yeah, when I looked first, I looked at your report. I was like, I bet Matias is like, plays the visionary role and Erica plays the integrator role. Um, and so I guess it is that it sounds like it’s true for your relationship. And I guess I’d just be curious how you feel like that plays out if it is true. Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s, that’s very true. Um, I mean, that’s, that’s been, I think what we were, you know, this isn’t necessarily something we subscribe to anymore, but we had started off our relationship. Um, I had recently read, uh, Dave Ramsey’s book and, uh, we, Erica had a lot of student loans. I had some, I had a little bit of a car loan. So we had, we had this big mountain of debt over our heads, just bought a house.

[41:53] We weren’t making very much money. Uh, like we were making like, what, like 50, 60,000 together, something like that. And we had $120,000 to pay off. Um, we, uh, you know, I was like, you know what, I just don’t want this over our heads the whole time. I want to, I want to just focus in on this and get this done. Um, and, and we kind of also came up with a compromise that we would be almost, we would be at 80% paid off that we would be able to have it paid off by the time we had a baby before we would start trying. So we like had this goal, like once we hit 80, 80%, we started trying for a kid. Um, and I’ll have to say, and that was some of the happiest we’ve been, cause we were really, really focused and in line and in tune on this one common goal.

[42:31] Um, and yeah, it was very much, you know, me kind of visionary stuff. And then Erica was like the one in the budget and the one like, you know, keeping track of it all and making sure it was being executed. So yeah, it was very much that way. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say, I think that’s probably true for a lot of how we function. And like, we were just talking about summer plans and, you know, I’ll go like, let’s, let’s talk about where we want to go. Where do we want to spend our time? We’re thinking about Spain this summer. And, and then once we decide on that, then, then I’m the one who plans and looks, researches tickets and where we’re staying and, and all of that stuff.

[43:12] But Matias, um, he is known to be a dreamer and always thinking outside the box. He’s not usually one to just consider what’s been done, but he’ll always find new ways of doing things. And, and that’s just not my style. It kind of freaks me out a little bit, but it tends to work out well for him. So I just like, I support us in harmony.

[43:36] But on the day to day, you know, um, so Matias does spend a lot of time thinking about things and processing. And when he has something big going on that he’s processing, he’ll talk about it and talk about, talk about, talk, talk. For like four days. Um, and, and I’m not clearly not strategic and are high strategic. And so I, my eyes kind of glaze over, um, when I start hearing all of that and, and he doesn’t, I don’t think you necessarily want me to really respond. And you just want me to be there.

[44:10] That tends to be how, how we, uh, how we relate together. Um, and yeah, and that makes for, and I was curious. Yes. If it’s like, you know, Matias, you’ve given the example of earlier on, but I would guess that you kind of naturally just have this like ebb and flow of how, like, and what’s interesting is like, yeah, I was going to say, Matias, you’re like the initiator. Cause you’re high activator, but Erica, you’re also high activator too. Um, so you’re like both quick to like get started on things. Yeah. And, um, but Erica, you’re high achiever and you’re middle of the road achiever, Matias. So like, but people, the high achiever is like activator is, I’m going to make sure we get started.

[44:59] And achievers like, I’m going to make sure we get finished. Um, and so Matias, yours is there. You pull on it, right? It’s your, you’re supporting, but, um, I hear as you’re talking, Erica, like that you’re achiever, I would put it like, I just like to think of these, like put them over in this column here. Like you’re 11, 12, I’m also guessing 13 is, is still dominant and still, still always on and still intense. Um, and so it is really nice. It is really nice to have, like, that’s the goal of this with teams is like, how do we put people in positions or roles or whatever? And, and it is very much true for relation, any kind of relationship. Um, how do we allow people to work from what they have up high because they’re going to be energized by it, right?

[45:43] Like sometimes people are like, oh, well, I hate doing this. So I’m not like, I feel bad giving it to this person. It’s like, well, no, this person actually loves, loves doing this. Right. And so, and, and it also can be like, I always like to give this example of my husband. And so my number two is futuristic. His number 34 is futuristic. I didn’t, I didn’t know this. We were married for many years before I saw his report, before he took his report. And I, it was like a light bulb moment for me because I was like, oh my gosh, I would get so frustrated at him because I’d be like, I have this dream for our life and these things that I want. And I don’t understand like that, you know, that I want for us or in my mind that we wanted.

[46:22] And why aren’t you like as energized or working toward these? And then I, and then when I saw number 34, I was like, oh, he can’t see them because I’ve never taken the time to tell him what I see. And it’s like people it’s so like some of those realizations where it’s like, so now I just know, oh, okay. When I see something as being possible, I’m like jumping to the conclusion that he sees it too. And now I’m like, oh, now I just know when I see something and I get excited about him, I have to tell him about it and just, and paint the picture of it. And, um, and so that’s been, that’s been just those types of things can be so helpful in relationships because then you don’t, and that’s a personal relationship, but same with teams.

[47:02] You’re like, oh, that’s not their strong suit. So I’m going to play that role because that part energizes me. I love dreaming and I love to share my ideas. Um, so sometimes it can be very freeing and partnerships, uh, teams, et cetera, because you’re like, oh, they don’t even like that. They’re like, cool. I’m going to do this. And it’s going to like, it’s going to take the pressure off of them too. So I don’t know. I guess I’m just curious. Um, if I, I don’t know you’re seeing each other’s in real time, but I, I would recommend it’s really funny. You guys have the same number 34, um, of context. Um, but so just, so context is usually if you’re high futuristic, you’re low context and both of you are higher, like, you know, Matias, it’s your number one, but Erica, it’s your number 14.

[47:43] So that would tell me you can, you can pull on that. And it’s actually, I have to say this. It’s so funny. Cause when it was just a perfect, perfect example of you lead with relationship building. When you said like, oh, when Matias is like, you know, we have to make a decision. I don’t feel ready or whatever, but I just want to do it like to help keep the harmony. And it’s, I know it’s going to help to build our relationship. You also are like using your futuristic to forecast what’s possible for the relationship. If you get on board for this thing, right? Like you’re using your futuristic from a relationship building lens too. Um, so interesting. So, um, but I would recommend like, yeah. And, and even, and we can talk about briefly if you would like, like the, I, I put your, your strengths into this like team grid and, and I, I think my, my assistant shared them yet, but I have them in a folder for you that I’ll share.

[48:29] Um, but it’s kind of cool to look at like, where’s your concentration of, um, and I have like, you know, the full grid, I’ll give you all the stuff, but, um, you can see kind of like your, you both lead with your strongest domain as a couple is relationship building. And you’ve got four of your top 10 there where your weakest domain is executing, but honestly, you’re pretty, this goes back to like, you’re very well balanced. So even your weakest domain isn’t very weak. Um, and, but your bottom three, like three of your bottom five are in green, which is, which is really interesting. Um, and so, um, so, I mean, you guys are just really, you are very well balanced, um, which is not common to see.

[49:14] I usually see like a yin and yang and like married couples, but, um, I usually don’t see as good of like a balance as I see in yours. Um, so I just thought that was cool. And then I wanted to point out. Interesting. That’s cool. Yeah. What do you, when you look at that, what do you see for any, any tips on like how we work well together, what we should look out for or ways we might get in each other’s way? Um, so I will just like give, you know, based on a little bit that I, that I know about you in this conversation and, and this here, I will say, so teams in general, partners and large teams, whatever the case is, relationship building is the absolute most important domain for teams. So if you are a team where you don’t have relationship building themes, does it mean you can’t function as a team?

[50:03] No, but it means you’re going to have to be really intentional about how you keep the team cohesive. And like the teams that tend to struggle the most are the ones with weak, where their weakest domain is relationship building. And so, and the reason for that is because, um, when, when relationship building is weak, the people can like, they operate as like disparate parts. So no matter what their other color is that they can, they’re just kind of in their own little world and they come together. So they don’t operate as like a, you know, a unit. And so, because you’re high relationship building, you know, the opposite is true. So you, your report would, your, your team results would tell me that you are very good at operating as like a cohesive connected unit.

[50:48] Like you, you move forward together essentially. So like you’re, yeah, you’re making decisions together. You are taking it. So I guess, yeah, I hear you both responding. So I’d be curious to hear if that resonates. I would say that’s very true. I think we’ve gotten much better at that over the years for sure. Um, but, but I do think we do that well. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I think, um, I think before, uh, we started dating, you were kind of pretty independent as a person. And, um, then when we started dating, I think we just kind of just, yeah, I think we fell. We just did everything together and, and I don’t think there’s ever been a time, like, even though I push and I like had the vision and I’m, I’m wanting to do things and I’m typically the one pushing the boundaries and of what you’re comfortable with.

[51:31] Um, I don’t think it’s ever like, well, we’re doing this. It’s not, nothing like that. You know what I mean? It’s, it’s usually, um, giving you whatever time you need. And maybe I’m not realizing that you’re just doing to make us have harmony. Um, but, but, uh, you know, we tried to be at least on the same page that, uh, you know, to, to, uh, we’re both yeses. We’re going to go forward, even though you’re going to be more apprehensive with that decision. Yeah. I think we’ve said before, I mean, this ties more probably into our marriage, but, but as we’ve gone through like pretty stressful times and tense times and heavy decision-making times, um, it, it also comes down to the fact that we really enjoy each other.

[52:12] We’re really good friends. And so that makes some of the more difficult conversations just a lot easier because then we’re also not afraid to argue with each other and then come back and talk about it some more and then move forward with a decision we both feel good about. Yeah. And it’s, it’s funny as you were just saying that I was like, oh, you’re comfortable to argue with like being of your number one harmony. And then the thought I had after that, I was like, oh, what she just said is I am comfortable arguing with, I’m, I’m comfortable with like, you know, arguing because I know that like it’s going to result in greater harmony in our relationship. I know we have this grounded harmony in our relationship that we can come back to.

[52:52] Yeah. Which therapists speak for that is we have a secure relationship. I feel comfortable being vulnerable with you. Yeah. Yeah. That’s, that’s huge. And, and, and obviously a testament to so much of, of the blues that you had to have Erica, like the, I always say blue is the glue. So if you have a team, if, if I, if I had to create a team today and the first hire I’d probably make would be an integrator, but I would want an integrator to be blue. Like the, because, and blue like is the absolute, I think most, I guess, let me pause because I feel like sometimes people are like, oh, okay. Integrators are purple and visionaries are orange, which most commonly, commonly visionaries are orange.

[53:43] Integrators are purple and then green and blue can go either way. So that, but there’s no like hard and fast rules with any of this. It’s just themes that I see more frequently. And, but like with blue specifically, can, are you not like, and Gallup has done research on this. The best and highest performing teams are not teams, partnerships, you know, couples as well. The highest and best performing teams are not the ones that are the, the most well balanced. That’s like a nice to have. It’s not a must have. The must have is that they have visibility to each other’s strengths and know how to leverage them intentionally. Right. That, so that’s, you have a team and you’re not high relationship building.

[54:21] You don’t have to go like find the funding to hire something, hire a blue person on your team. But right. If you could cherry pick and say like the, like first it has to be like the right fit of the person, the right. People always say like, oh, can you make a dating app? And like, what’s the right color for me to date? Like, no, no. You know, have the same values and like have a, you know, chemistry and things that you connect on personally. And, um, so with like, fine, you know, and it’s the same thing is true for like business partners. Like don’t go based off of somebody’s assessment. Um, or if you’re interviewing somebody or whatever, whatever the case may be. Right. It’s like, don’t like use the assessment as an opportunity to get curious if you’re getting into new relationships.

[55:01] Like I said, if I was purely going off based, based off of the report alone, and I was interviewing that one woman whose number one was empathy for a strategic consultant who has no green in her top 10, I would have thrown away her resume. If I was of the mindset, I have to hire a green person. Right. And I would have missed out on a totally stellar candidate. So there’s no rules with this. It’s all about how you use what you have to get at all of the different areas. Also, after all of my disclaimers, I still say blue is the glue. It’s really, really important. It’s like, if you can have somebody that’s relationship building on a team, you feel it. Everything just feels cohesive. And if you don’t, then you just have to make sure you have the right strategy for how you build that cohesion.

[55:44] So again, Erica, that’s just a testament to you because it’s something you so naturally do. And, and, um, and it clearly shines in your relationship. Thank you. Welcome. That’s what I like here. The only reason.

[56:02] And that’s, yeah, go ahead. No, this is, this is really fun. This is really cool. Yeah. It’s, it’s fun to think about in the context of, you know, you’re in the process of building a team and, um, and, and so like thinking about the people that you’re, you’re bringing on or inviting on and thinking about their strengths. Cause I know, um, I know them pretty well personally too. And, um, where they might land on some of this stuff. It’s interesting. I think I really appreciate you saying that like, you shouldn’t be like trying to hire a specific, specific color or whatever, because that’s kind of what I had in mind more or less, I would say. Um, and I think it does make a lot of sense that really you’re, you’re, you’re kind of, you know, there’s, there’s a lot more to it.

[56:42] I mean, you weren’t a, if you feel like the person is the right, uh, match for a team or would be good at a real estate, um, as a real estate salesperson, or maybe, uh, more of a manager type person. Um, and then from there, like maybe focus on what their strengths are to try to really, um, enhance their performance, uh, by focusing on those. Um, that’s, that’s good insight. I, I, yeah, like I said, I think I kind of was expecting to, to almost base hires on their colors. Yeah. That is extremely common, especially cause you’re high strategic. Cause you’re, you’re already like, I always say high strategic plays like chess in their head, right? Like there are doing all these mental calculations.

[57:18] Yes. Um, and so, and now like I, what I do love it for is it’s a, it gives you like a starting place to ask, like, uh, and I’ll, I’ll give you these generalities. The most natural, if I had to hire somebody only based on colors for a sales role, I would choose orange influencing, um, which, which makes sense. Um, because right. Like influencing is about influencing others. It’s people focused. It casts a wide net. It can go fast with people, especially high woo. That’s why Vina thinks it’s the best is like, you know, you can do a lot with a little. Um, and so a lot of, I see a lot of salespeople are high influencing, which makes sense, right? Because it energizes them to go fast with people and to do all these things, but you don’t, it’s not the, it’s like, okay, if you’re in your, let’s say you’re meeting with a salesperson, uh, somebody that I don’t know, you’ve really, you really liked this candidate and then you see the results and they’re all green strategic thinking and executing, which are non-people focused.

[58:20] And, um, and you’re like, okay, these are no people focused themes. They’re not green or they’re not blue or orange. That’s when then you start to ask questions about how they build relationships. Like, it’s like, ask them questions on the things, right? It’s like, how do you cast a wide net with people? How do you build depths of relationships? What’s like your track record? Like, you know what I mean? It’s like, and if they’re high strategic, they’re like, oh yeah, this is my strategy for how I go about this. Or this is how I execute on those things. So it’s like, use it as a means to ask really good questions to understand. And it’s like, if they don’t know how to fill those gaps, they’re like, oh, I don’t know, I just thought I’d, you know, I just figured out it.

[59:01] I don’t know. I’m just, I’m like yammering now, but you know what I mean? If they’re, if they’re, if their questions are not helping you feel confident in their abilities to sell and kind of do these things that are more people focused, then that’s when, then that’s when you’re like, okay, probably not the right fit, but they’re not automatically a good fit or bad fit just based on their color. It’s more just an opportunity to ask better questions. That’s a really good insight. That’s, that’s, that’s interesting. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, I was going to say, is there any other questions I can ask about your, your team report or your team grid as I have it, as I have it up?

[59:38] I think I personally would need to digest it a little bit more. I throw a lot at you in a short amount of time. But I mean, I think, I think everything you’ve said so far about the way we work or how we feel kind of balanced makes a lot of sense to me. And I think that, yeah, we definitely have seen where we kind of fit in the, in the grand scheme of things and kind of try to lean into that a little bit more without leaving each other behind. Yeah. I mean, do you have any other questions? Yeah. I, yeah, I think for me, it, it more confirms what I, or how I experience us. I think if I dove into it more, I would be interested in how we work together professionally. Cause I think like sometimes that probably brings up more like conflict than even like in our marriage.

[1:00:37] But I mean, probably more with like scheduling and the flow of work. Um, I tend to work in like really short, fast, efficient bursts and he is more, um, more of like a pretty consistent flow, but has to have very focused time on, on like specific tasks per se. And he can’t just like take a task and run with it. If I throw one at him, um, which makes sense. I probably wouldn’t be able to do that either. Um, so I, that, that I would love to tease out more and look, look in and see like how we can communicate better as we’re like navigating all of these different pieces that we have in our life between running family life and my business and the investment side and putting in offers on things and, um, all that stuff.

[1:01:28] Yeah. I think it’s easier for us to write an offer on a property or offer on a, on a, you know, run down crappy house. Um, that’s a good deal than it is to like find a time to hang out, like, like schedule a date or schedule, you know, like a time to hang out with friends. Um, I mean, I think that’s, it can be like, when are we going to be able to talk about this and, you know, sit down and find a time and, and, you know, actually execute on it. It’s interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That’s, I guess that’s part of like parenting young kids too, but, but then it’s also, once you have that time to sit down, we have a very short amount of time to, to go through all of these different things. And if we both process different ways that can be challenging.

[1:02:11] Yeah. Yeah. And Erica, do you mind if I asked, like when you said that, when you talked about the business side of things and like just the example you gave of, of throwing something at Matthias and, you know, that’s just not how he, how he works does, is then the consequence of that or the result of that, that you end up having like being burdened with more things. Cause you just end up having to take care of it. Or like what, I guess what’s the, what happens then as a result of that, or does it just mean that things don’t get done? It’s more, um, I’m trying to think when this comes up the most. So, so I do a lot of the like filing and bookkeeping, um, making sure all of the like insurance policies are paid, like the financial backend of it, the administrative stuff.

[1:02:54] And so it’ll be like, Hey, what was this expense for? Or what was, I’ll be like going through things when I have a little bit of a time. And it’s not necessarily that it would be added to my plate. It, it ends up being me learning the best way to communicate what I need from him, which we found is, oh, I’ll draft like a longer email with a list of all of the things I need from him. And then he does a morning like, um, email time first thing in the morning. And then that’s his time to respond to it. But it can’t be immediately like texting me. What’s this one? And then what’s this one? Then what’s this one? Like, like if it’s expenses, like what, you know, it, it, I might be in the middle of writing an offer or whatever.

[1:03:37] And it’s, it’s going to get buried. And, and, and then, you know, if you do write an email, then it can, sometimes I can be bad at, at, you know, getting those emails done that, especially that, that need a little bit more thought and finding the time to do those. So, um, that’s probably a bit of the conflict you’re talking about or the, or the struggle. Right. It ends up just being more of like a chink in the, in the flow as opposed to being added to someone else’s workload. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and as, and as you say that, I guess I thought, it sounds like you’ve already done this. Cause the first thought that came to mind was like, yeah, like Matias really like you’re the one, like coming up with you coming up with the strategy of what would work best for her, like for Erica to get what she needs to move things forward.

[1:04:19] Right. And it sounds like you’ve already kind of done a version of that. Um, write in an email. Right. Exactly. Um, the only thing I’d add onto it is like, as you noodle on some of this more is I think part of your should also be like, I’m guessing based on Erica’s strengths, like you’re not also always going to bring the things to him that you might need right away. And so like, even to uncover the fact that you’re not getting what you need when you need it or whatever, like the fact that you need him to come up with the strategy. It’s almost like you need to have a strategy to identify when you need a strategy. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so, so it’s kind of like, like, it’s like, yeah, do you just have a regular Monday check-in or something right where like you kind of talk about what’s working and not working so that Matias, like it’s an opportunity for Erica for you to feel like, oh, okay.

[1:05:17] Like it’s not going to disrupt the harmony. This is a thing that we’re doing on Mondays. And it, right. This is just like an example, obviously not a recommendation necessarily. Um, right. And then like for Matias, it’s like in his calendar and it’s like, okay, our strategy is like, I’m going to ask you, Erica, like what things aren’t working. And then, and then I’m going to help like throw out some ideas of the strategy and we’re going to walk away with what, what we’re going to do about these things. So it’s like, I do think just considering, I think it will like increase your efficiency if you have a strategy to help make sure you’re pulling out things that are needed from you because you’re so going to have a natural tendency to just try to keep the harmony going and not rock the boat unless you need to.

[1:05:56] Oh, that’s so true. So true. This, this is the power of doing this.

[1:06:05] That’s beautiful. I know. That’s so funny. You don’t know how many times Matias has been like, why didn’t you talk to me about this? I’m like, why didn’t, I didn’t want, I thought it would be okay. I wanted to just make it okay. That would be, uh, well, and we probably, we probably need to probably wrap this up soon, but I was just going to say that, um, that would probably be a conflict, a reoccurring conflict theme kind of thing. It’s like all of a sudden I feel like there’s some, it’s like, it’s boiled over for her. Um, whatever has been bothering her. And it, it, um, has gotten to a point where I almost feel defensive as opposed to like, why didn’t I know this earlier? Um, and I’m guessing that has to do with the, the harmony, um, side of things.

[1:06:44] So it makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. Strategy for the strategy. That’s, that’s my biggest, that’s my, I’ll coin that term for this, for this one. I love it, Rosie. Um, well, I do, I do want to know, um, if you have any book recommendations, if there’s one that you’re currently really enjoying or one that was maybe fundamental for you. Yeah. Um, oh gosh, as you said that, I was like, when you said book recommendation, my first thought went to fiction, which I haven’t read a fiction book, I don’t know, in like a decade, but, um, I will say, okay, so I guess I’ll give two, I’ll give a fiction and not fiction. My, I think all time favorite book is the catcher in the rye. If you haven’t read it, it’s like an old classic.

[1:07:24] It’s so good. I don’t know. It’ll just bring you back to like the teenage angst. Um, and I don’t know, it always, anytime I reread it, it helps me get back in touch with like a younger version of myself that was more free. And, um, the, a book that I would recommend, I just, I just started reading it. So I’m not fully through it. Um, I’m sure you guys heard about it cause it’s all over social media, but the let them by, um, by Mel Robbins. Have you checked it out yet? No. Oh my God. It’s so, you know, just listen to her podcast on it. Like she’s been on a lot of podcasts talking about it. Like it’s just, it’s a concept of basically like it’s, she, she coined this phrase, let them cause it’s like, Oh, you’re going to post something on social media and people are going to judge you.

[1:08:07] Let them like it’s, and I’m totally butchering the way that she talks about it, but it’s just kind of like, okay, like, yes. And, and she basically talks about let them and then let me like, let them judge me or let, Oh, like my mom wanted me to do this for Christmas and now she’s pissed. Like, let them, let them be pissed. And right. And let me give myself the things that I need or let me feel angry about that. So it’s just like this. It’s, it’s a really interesting concept. And so I’ve really enjoyed the book so far. A lot of it is just kind of stories about the, the freedom that people feel from just like letting others be others and letting themselves also feel and need the things that they need to.

[1:08:44] So that’s my nonfiction recommendation. Love it. That’s cool. I’ll have to look that one up. Yeah. If people, if people are interested in having this kind of thing done for their team, for the business, for themselves, what’s a good place to reach out to you at? Do you have a website? Social media? What do you, where should people go? All the above. I have a website, which is rosynoel.com. So super easy. And you can order the assessment there. You can also just, there’s a contact form. They can reach out to me there. My email is rosy at rosynoel.com. Also very, very simple. And then my Instagram is the rosynoel. I’m still trying to get rosynoel, but somebody took it. So the rosynoel on Instagram and you can, people always will message me there too.

[1:09:29] So honestly, whatever, whatever’s easiest, there’s, there’s lots of ways to get in touch about this. And I recommend for anybody at a minimum, if you take the assessment, there’s so many free resources on it. You guys probably got a bunch of emails after you took it and Gallup. There’s podcasts. If you go on Spotify, you can listen to podcasts just on Harmony. There’s probably seven podcasts just on Harmony. So there’s tons of resources and it’s only an assessment you take once. So I always recommend to at least take the assessment. And then if you like it and you wanted to go deeper on your results, that’s, that’s where I can come in. Awesome. Well, thank you, Rosie. This has been so fun. Yeah.

[1:10:04] And enlightening. And I feel like we know so much more about each other and ourselves. So thank you so much for giving us all of this information. Yeah. Thanks so much. Thank you for having me. It was great to meet you both and, and I’m grateful to be here. So thank you. Thanks for listening to the REI agent. If you enjoyed this episode, hit subscribe to catch new shows every week. Visit REIAgent.com for more content. Until next time, keep building the life you want. All content in the show is not investment advice or mental health therapy. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.